Is she trying to play me?

Ok, I have been dating this female who was previously married and is in the process of a legal sep. She has two children and lives in the house the she and her (ex) husband bought a year ago. She recently quite her job even though I told her not to and is struggeling with $$ as she now works part time because unemployment rejected her claim because she quite. Her (ex) husband does not want to cough up for the bills they have together, and only pays child support when he wants to. I have my own place. However, I stay at her house most of the time. We have been arguing alot lately. Mainly because she's missarable on a daily basis, never happy....which she admits and even her own children told me has always been like that. My biggest problem is more so her financial situation. Last night an argument she started because in her eyes I never helped her out with any of the bills. My argument was that the bills created by her and the (ex) husband should be handled by themselves and maybe concider suing him for that. But she claimed, because I stayed at her house frequently that I should pay the light, water, ect. True, I do stay there, however, I have my own place (bills), and if it comes down to it, I can simply just visit her if that is the case. Besides, I offered for her to spend QT at my place but lately she insist of me staying at her house. A few months back she called me cheap because I eased on spending alot of money when we were going out to eat/dance/ect. I always calculated on how much things cost... hey, why not question your spending $$ ?! In any event, her sister who is dating a married guy pays for repairs for the sisters home improvement (so I was told) But my gutt feeling tells me that the guy is practically paying for everything. The first time I met this individual he told me that the sister is always accusing him of being too secret about his life. Funny, I hear the same thing from her.... maybe a sister thing?? But then one day I found my full name and social security number in her bag and when I questioned her about it her explaination was that one day when she went to the bank and she was talking to me on the cellphone she told the banker her SS# and I heard everything.. so she felt the need of obtaining my information as well... fishy!! In any event, I have tried to motivate her, cheer her up and really tried to make her happy without spending $$, such as taking her to places that she never been to.... just quite places in the park where she can think and relax, restaurants that are different than just the plain old TGIF or Applebees... trying to find her a new job/career (made a new resume, job searches, ect) she is still on a up/down rolla' coaster. I feel i'm waisting time here, but when I decide to break lose, I have a tendency or should I say fear of making a mistake because I care for her.... what is your take on this ? Any suggestions/comments, may it be negative or positive are more than welcome. Thanks everyone!Is she trying to play me?
1) You aren't living with her so you shouldn't be expected to pay for her utilities and such. If you two decide that you are moving in, that would be appropriate at that time.

2) Gut feeling is you should cut and run. She is looking for someone to take care of her financially now that she has not husband. She is setting up the situation to guide you into taking care of her. The arguments about money mean you aren't getting the hint.

3) This is the most important - call all three credit agencies and check your credit for opened accounts!
If you have to type all of that just to ask your question, then the answer is probably what you think it is.Is she trying to play me?
Sounds more like you are trying to play her.
i would say wow but sounds about normal. keep doing what you are doing if she loves you she don't need your money but here is the kicker for a lot of people who are trying to survive if they can't get the money they may look for someone who will help them with money which leaves you out to dry i guess. but really if that was the case to happen then wasn't it for the better.



I was living off of pizza morning,noon and night for 6 months and was going to loose everything then i met my wife. i held out endured debt collectors then married my wife that i have had now for over 11 years. love should be without $



true you need it to live but it doesn't pick who you love
RUN!! RUN LIKE THE WIND AND DON'T LOOK BACK
Dude, run for the hills!!! this sounds like a really bad situation that may come back to haunt you in more ways than one. First of all, you are not on a lease or mortgage, so forget about paying someone elses bills. Secondly, if she has your social security number and name, she could technically try to get your social security $ through fraud, or even worse, open up a line of credit using your information. Heck, she could get a credit card using an online bank account through the computer. You'd never know!! She'd forward all billing to her house and you could be into $30,000 in debt before you'd even know it!



My advice, you get a credit check to make sure there isn't anything funny going on. Second, Tell her you're going on a business trip for a week or so, and get a clear head about what is really going on. If she is making you clean up the trash after her first marriage, you're definately being used. Don't be the fall guy.



Good luck mac, you're going to need it.
Sounds like she is not taking you seriously and that she has different motives and her head and heart is a different place than yours. I think you should not date this woman and find someone who you feel like you both want the same thing, and one who does not have so much baggage. Sounds like this woman causes you more stress than anything else.
First off, this seems to be a rebound relationship for her. Strike One! Secondly, your money is yours and how you spend it and on what is your choice - if she cares for you as a person - this should not be an issue. Stike 2! Last, her obtaining your SS# is nothing short of criminal! Strike 3! Get out and get a credit monitoring account to make certain she is not getting money/credit in your name!
i think you should cut it loose.



she has issues that she needs to resolve before she will be stable enough to appreciate what people do for her.



i really think she may be using you. if she had your ssn, she may be trying to put your name as a cosigner on a loan of some sorts. that is fishy as hell.



i really understand how you feel, but its better for you, and ultimately better for her if you cut the cord before she puts you in a bad situation...



good luck
You are being played. Getting involved with this family of spongers is a bad idea. Leave as quickly as you can.



After you go, pay very careful attention to your credit rating - she has your social security number and her story about that was lame in the extreme. Look out for accounts that you did not open yourself and report her immediately to the police if you see anything suspicious.
caution: A love triangle can be very serious. it is not always the best decision to be intimate with a partner trying to recuperate from a painful divorce. there is always a reasonable explanation why the husband "walked the plank". still her life seem to be more complicated than yours and even though you may provide emotional support, to her that is not enough. despite your willingness and feelings, getting catch in a situation that possibly can/has/or will loose its value could lead to your demise. "prevention is better than a cure"
Have you heard the term 'Trick Bag'?



It means a situation there is no good outcome. And that's what you are in.



Get out. Get out now.
Run away quickly. You stated "who was previously married and is in the process of a legal sep." She is NOT previously married, she still is, and legal separation the papers would be drawn up for who pays what on their mutual assets. She is looking for $, once you start paying you will be paying for a long time. Tell her when she has the divorce papers in her hand to call you. Till then kick this clown to the curb.
She has way too much baggage and the relationship is way too much drama. Move on.